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It’s a beautiful, cold, clear day today. I’m sitting here at this long table thinking about my struggle to live comfortably in the world. (I mean this in a spiritual sense as opposed to a material one, which is sometimes also a struggle) There’s one conflict that seems to be a staple, a consistent challenge: Should I treat situations that bother me with acceptance, love, patience? Or should I fight, defend, win? Of course, I know which option will bring greater peace and happiness. Sometimes, accepting what is, though, is really, really hard. But the alternative has never brought anything but more conflict and discomfort.
I don’t remember the words to many of my songs so well. But I was thinking about a line in a song called “Greener.”
“I think I’m changing. I don’t know what into.”
I remember that feeling. I wrote all of the songs on “Everything I Touch Runs Wild” feeling that way. It’s probably my best record because being lost and confused, and trying to figure out how to move into another, better place, was a great condition to write from. Writing with purpose and need has a power simple reflection can only dream about. But I’m glad I don’t have to live in that state today.
What I’ve “changed into” is someone able to recognize when a situation in my life is similar to an earlier one. I recognize I have an opportunity to behave differently, and by acting differently, I can change my life. It’s not an easy thing to do. It’s nearly as tempting as ever to act as I have in the past, but somehow, I’m able to slow my reaction time to the point where I have the opportunity to respond with tolerance and patience instead. This is a decision I continue to make in order to live a comfortable life.
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I can feel winter coming tonight, although the weather’s been pretty mild so far. Except for a brief hail storm a week or so ago, it’s been warm enough to go around in just a jacket. Yesterday people were sitting on the beach in Bridgehampton. But today it was dark at 5:00, and the temperature […]
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Saw Bill Maher’s documentary, Religulous this past weekend. It was very good and funny. I was out in the studio attempting to write today, but kept being distracted by my thoughts about it.
I’ll start with this: As Bill Maher’s movie wants us to recognize, the stories of all religions are pretty far-fetched.
But, somewhere, there is […]
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I’m in NYC at D’s place this morning. Meeting Paul for lunch and will attempt to get him to run with me. He seemed a bit resistant to the idea when I woke him with a phone call this morning, but hopefully he’ll warm up to it. It’s a beautiful, bright day here in New […]
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The new site is up at http://www.loricarson.com
It’s got film clips, and clips of all the recent work including the kids and me at Warren Easton HS in New Orleans. I’m especially proud of the Johnson & Johnson spot, I’ve talked about so much here. Please check it out when you have a minute.
In the license/listen […]
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Just after noon, dark sky. Here comes the rain. The whole house is filled with the scent. Thunder and lightening. Hopefully, it won’t strike my house with its new roof.
I’ve come in from the studio after working all morning, improvising on the piano, trying to find a new song. The one from the last couple […]
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The attic is full of papers and photographs mostly. Some boxes of old clothes and shoes. A few computer carcasses. I went up there looking for a dress I remembered (wasn’t there), then recalled I’d promised Alison to look for memorabilia from the Ruben Blades years, for the archive she’s putting together for Harvard. […]
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Thinking a lot about the new website we’re making to present my film music work. I’ve been looking at scenes from Blue Car, Crazy/beautiful, and Broken Vessels. Listening to new songs. Thinking about how to present new songs on the site for potential licenses. KG made this beautiful site for a director in LA, and […]
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Sitting on the back patio under a wisteria covered arbor, bird sounds in great variety, shimmering sunlight through tall trees, the scent of wild roses in bloom. Steven and his crew of landscapers were here yesterday, so there is some order; a few beds cleared of the weeds that seem to grow back overnight, […]
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Tuesday morning after the long Memorial Day weekend. It’s cool and rainy here on the North Fork.
Paul and I worked on Memorial Day, actually. We recorded a version of “She Can’t Decide” for one of DW’s projects. It was fun playing to picture. I love doing that, where you get into the flow of […]