Dreaming and Awake

What a strange dream. And another one, after it, just when I thought I’d never be able to get back to sleep.

In the second dream, I was standing at the door of an apartment with broken locks. I seemed to live there. A neighbor approached and grabbed my breast. That’s when I knew I was dreaming, and forced myself awake again.

The first dream was much more intense. I was in a house or apartment. He was there. He was watching me go around locking up all the windows. I noticed that his fingernails were very long, and remembered that I’d heard he and another man were going around assaulting women. The long nails played a part in this, somehow. I told myself he would never hurt me, and I was probably safe. I don’t remember our conversation, but as we spoke, I observed his behavior was becoming more, and more, peculiar.

Then he attacked me. I didn’t struggle against him, just lay there under his heavy weight.
“Don’t you love me anymore?’ I asked him.
He looked at me with utter contempt. “What a ridiculous name you have,” he said.
Then he placed his eye against my eye, shining a red laser-bright light into it. I knew it was going to kill me.
“Please,” I said. “I want to live!”

What the hell? I haven’t dreamed about him in a long time. I guess I’ve come to see him as dangerous. I couldn’t fall back asleep for at least an hour. I lay awake and thought about what it meant. I know I did fall back asleep, eventually, because there was the second dream with the broken locks and the neighbor.

Always, waking up during the night, there is Doe’s body, soft but with a little weight. Whenever I shift, she repositions, leaning against me, a comfort.

By the morning, I could hear the rain falling. The day began early, as it does, every morning, the same. Throw my clothes on, take Doe out for her walk, while the cats meow, and yowl, and beg for breakfast.

Thirty minutes later, everyone is fed and napping. I sit with coffee, in front of the computer, stalling with Facebook, email, and Scrabble, before I begin to work.

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