Finishing up the latest DW project this week. I love working for/with DW. I seem to need someone to listen and give feedback, make critical suggestions, or voice appreciation. It’s part of my process. I look back on my relationship with Anton Fier and the years of being “curated” by him. Maybe I enjoy it because I longed to be recognized by my father. (Thoughts like this come up constantly since his death. The unresolved haunts).
This project is an interesting one. Four short films, character studies of four achieving young people (made for a corporation as a recruiting tool), each one requiring music with a different feel/message. DW is something of a corporate outlaw, doing his best to make these films beautiful and poetic. They’re fun to write to/for. Still working on the last, a story of a parent-less 23 year old, successfully raising her 17 year old sister. They’ve yet to get an edit with flow and so it’s difficult to make the music work. But it will come together and getting there is fun. Two new songs that I really love have come out of the project.
I want to put out a new record of these songs and the others written and recorded the last couple of years. They’re all kind of melancholy and thoughtful, sparsely arranged. I project what the reviews would be and it stops me (or slows me down at least). Does the world need another melancholy, slow-paced record by me? But I will probably put it out anyway. I do what I do. I need to let go of the desire to be great, and the need to be appreciated for my greatness. That’s ego. I do what I do. It may or may not have much value in the world, but I need to keep contributing my part. It shouldn’t matter if I’m misunderstood or disliked. Creativity is to be shared. I’m sure many, many people stop themselves for fear of being judged or rejected. But our work, as creative people, is to produce it and share it and not worry about how it will be received.
Layng contributed a track (very Slang) for one of the films and it came out really great. Was nice to work with him again. He’s living in Nashville now, still very Layng, still dear to me in a way. My family always adored him and he was very sweet when my father was ill.
Went to the movies with someone new last night, but I have no interest in men anymore, or maybe I’m not ready to do it again. It feels so forced, trying to have a good time with a stranger. I’d rather be at home with my Doe and the cats. We saw Up in The Air with George Clooney. It was a good film but, as is the case with all mainstream movies, punished its protagonist in the end for his life of minimal attachment. God forbid a fictional character actually gets away with living a life outside of convention.
Ok, time to get moving.